Traveling Hippie-ionary

In Thailand, Linds and I spent a lot of time people watching.  Whether we were on the beach, on a boat, on a bus or eating on the street, we were always checking out the scenery.  And by scenery I mean boys. (I’m living in no-man Tongxiang land here people, Thailand was a thrill.)

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Other than hot boys, we saw a lot of hippies. So many that we started giving a hippie dictionary. Next time you travel, try to spot them all. It’s not difficult. The difficult part is getting pictures. Cameras are a social construct devised by the government so they can secretly control everything we see… I mean, we should all just live in the moment, just feel it, breathe it in. Peace, love, happiness.  Who needs things?

OldTime Hippie– The ORGINIAL hippie. Oldish, long hair, leather skin, has had dreads for years.

ShortTerm Hippie– Traveling for 1 month or less—adapt quickly to lifestyle of not showering and wearing hippie clothes.

Modern Hippie– Live the hippie lifestyle but clothes are more modern. Cool tattoos and wash their hair approximately 2 times a week.

Hippie Family– A mixture of the old and modern hippie with the addition of innocent children… usually naked. Attire= thai pants, dreads, cotton shirts. Kids are running loose, laissez-fairz parenting. Hippie families come in droves with other hippie families.

Hipster Hippie- Strategically placed headband with “messy” hair. Trying to look “dirty.” Wears flowy dresses or vintage tees that cost more than my wardrobe to accent tattoos and piercings. Lots of bracelets. You are all the same.

Gypsy Hippie– Runs out of money and begs tourists for help in exchange for all of their possessions or a “joke”.” Seriously, it’s called a credit card. How are you going to get home?!

Hippie Couple– Matching dreads and hippie style. Like to talk to non-hippie couples about their lifestyle and travels. Usually trying to out-pierce, out- tribal tattoo, or out-layer each other. PDA non-existent. Could be mistaken for brother and sister.

Minimalist Hippie– Wears all their belongings and brings one shoulder bag. This bag has lots of pockets to hold trinkets from travel. Often found meditating in the middle of a busy street.

Rave Hippie– Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Party the whole trip. Dance all night and beer for breakfast.  Who needs sleep? Or the beach? Or to see the area you’re visiting?

Meditating Hippie– Will mediate anywhere, including busy street intersections. This type usually own yoga re-treats. No deodorant.

I think that is it… oh yah, some advice. Never call a hippie a tourist.

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