San Jose Hospital: Part 2

Wow, it takes a long time for me to recap something that happened 3 months ago.

Continuing on…

So, how I broke my back was pretty un-climatic but my story doesn’t end there. The guys from Edmonton who rescued me, thought I was just having muscle spasms because when they touched my back i didn’t feel any extra pain. I have had muscle spasms before and I know they are painful (but not like this) but I just went with it. When the EMS arrived, they felt up and down my spine and didn’t think it was broken either. I don’t think anyone knew how much pain I was in.  Since the EMS didn’t think it was broken, they were not that gentle putting me on the spinal board!

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My sister and I rode together to the hospital. She was really helpful and took pictures. Memories!! Thanks sissy.

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At the hospital, I was placed in a room (duh) with another man who had the grossest story. He had ulcers inside his body  and they had burst and he started bleeding out of everything!! He also owned a really nice restaurant and knew our good friend, George Clooney and Ange and had been Princess Diane’s private chef. So that made up for the gross story he told us. Even when in pain, I love me some celebrity gossip. Another thing he told us, was that this was the best hospital in Mexico… umm foreshadowing… I think that was a lie.

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Anyway, I get wheeled away and into the x-ray room where they have to move me onto the x-ray table. I think there were only 3 people working that day, one being an 80 pound girl. That was a struggle. They would go away, come back, lift an arm, take an x-ray and leave. Finally, the x-ray technician (I think) came back and told me not to worry. My back wasn’t broken. Yay! I was very relieved. They wheeled me back into the room with my main man, Princess Diane’s Chef (who was having a freak-out because he needed to use his computer, probably to email George). The doctor came in and told me that I was just having muscle spasms and I would be back on the beach tomorrow. (!!!???) He put me on an IV of muscle relaxant and pain killers. The IV drip was SO slow, I was there for 6+ hours.  During this time, my poor cousin  her new husband came rushing to the hospital because Paige had called the hotel trying to find someone to tell. Not the best way to spend the day after your wedding, love you guys! My parents eventually came  (they had snorkelled in Cabos) and hung out with me while I watched the IV drip, so slowly. I wanted them to jack that thing up!

Eventually it was time to go, I knew when I sat up (with a lot of help) that this wasn’t  just a muscle spasm… (This story is so not suspenseful at all.)

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Characters on the Wall

I really wish I had thought to dress in a costume or at least wear some Canadian gear, there were so many people dressed up in awesome costumes and supporting their country. (I did get interviewed by ESPN and gave a shout out to the babe patrol!)

These were a few of my fav’s:

Great Wall Marathon 052 Marathon Maniac’s: This was a couple from the states who had run 163 marathons. They were flying home Monday and going to compete in 2 more marathons next weekend! In order to be a maniac you have to run 3 marathons a week at some point. They are awesome. 

Great Wall Marathon 053 Team South Africa: These guys actually became my friends at about 35km as we struggled to climb up the wall  the second time. 

Great Wall Marathon 057 Brazilian Brothers.

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Slipper man: I thought he was just going to run barefoot until I saw the chip fastened to his shoe. HC.

Great Wall Marathon 043 And of course, my Vancouver girl representing the Canucks!

Great Wall Marathon 184  Proof that the Wilderman and I actually completed the race.

Traveling Hippie-ionary

In Thailand, Linds and I spent a lot of time people watching.  Whether we were on the beach, on a boat, on a bus or eating on the street, we were always checking out the scenery.  And by scenery I mean boys. (I’m living in no-man Tongxiang land here people, Thailand was a thrill.)

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Other than hot boys, we saw a lot of hippies. So many that we started giving a hippie dictionary. Next time you travel, try to spot them all. It’s not difficult. The difficult part is getting pictures. Cameras are a social construct devised by the government so they can secretly control everything we see… I mean, we should all just live in the moment, just feel it, breathe it in. Peace, love, happiness.  Who needs things?

OldTime Hippie– The ORGINIAL hippie. Oldish, long hair, leather skin, has had dreads for years.

ShortTerm Hippie– Traveling for 1 month or less—adapt quickly to lifestyle of not showering and wearing hippie clothes.

Modern Hippie– Live the hippie lifestyle but clothes are more modern. Cool tattoos and wash their hair approximately 2 times a week.

Hippie Family– A mixture of the old and modern hippie with the addition of innocent children… usually naked. Attire= thai pants, dreads, cotton shirts. Kids are running loose, laissez-fairz parenting. Hippie families come in droves with other hippie families.

Hipster Hippie- Strategically placed headband with “messy” hair. Trying to look “dirty.” Wears flowy dresses or vintage tees that cost more than my wardrobe to accent tattoos and piercings. Lots of bracelets. You are all the same.

Gypsy Hippie– Runs out of money and begs tourists for help in exchange for all of their possessions or a “joke”.” Seriously, it’s called a credit card. How are you going to get home?!

Hippie Couple– Matching dreads and hippie style. Like to talk to non-hippie couples about their lifestyle and travels. Usually trying to out-pierce, out- tribal tattoo, or out-layer each other. PDA non-existent. Could be mistaken for brother and sister.

Minimalist Hippie– Wears all their belongings and brings one shoulder bag. This bag has lots of pockets to hold trinkets from travel. Often found meditating in the middle of a busy street.

Rave Hippie– Sex, drugs, rock and roll. Party the whole trip. Dance all night and beer for breakfast.  Who needs sleep? Or the beach? Or to see the area you’re visiting?

Meditating Hippie– Will mediate anywhere, including busy street intersections. This type usually own yoga re-treats. No deodorant.

I think that is it… oh yah, some advice. Never call a hippie a tourist.

On a Monday in China…

Get picked up from school in a BMW. Act cool. You do this all the time.

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Try not to let your mouth hang open when you see this office. Mom: 2 words. Massage chair. Christmas is only 362 days away. It’s never too early to start planning.

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Stock up on mini oranges and pears. Making $$ peeps.

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Load up on seafood and oil.

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And pretty much every other food known to China.

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But don’t look to the left. Leftovers anyone?

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Your glass will never be empty. Not even room for a drop.

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And gumbay (one shot) red wine like that’s how it should be enjoyed.

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Leave your morals at the door and plan on re-gifting. :S

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Smile and nod when a 50 year old man tells you he has a wife… and a ‘secretary.’ But no, you are not looking for a new job.

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Blackmail your co-workers.

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All at the courtesy of a student’s parents.

That makes for an awkward, hung-over Tuesday at school.

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What up students!!!

Circus

I think I know where Brit found her inspiration for her Circus album. A Tongxiang night club.

Tongxiang is a small (in China standards) city with 600,000 people.

I don’t usually stay here on weekends but if I do there is only one place to go dancing. Club Armani.

It was Silvo‘s last night in the Tong. (Alan you are too late!!) Unfortunately, he had a falling out with his business partner (hey, I totally called that 3 months ago) and is heading back to Italy to hang with Dolce and Gabbana. (Seriously, he claims they are his homeboys.)

I think the falling out might have had to do with the fact that he only wanted to have fun and drink with his friends. I probably sold more bottles of wine then he did.

Best part about him leaving: drinking a 300 euro bottle of wine!! I top off at spending 15 dollars for a bottle. This was legen (are you lactose intolerant?) dairy. Most expensive bottle  of wine I will ever drink.

It was really smooth but I didn’t really notice a big difference between my 100rmb bottle. Yikes. Maybe it’s because I was drinking out of a plastic cup? And taking a sip of one and then the other. Now that I think about it, that was stupid.

Silv’s last request was to go dancing with his friends. Or should I say  ma FRWIIEEEEEEEEENDS… in an Italian accent.

 

We walk into Armani and I am greeted with:

Balloon Animals. Nothing screams get yo party on like an R rated balloon dude. I think Gerry is excited.

Try grinding with him.

All I want to do is dance, not watch a dramatic soap opera.

The club can’t even handle this.

And there this is ol’ Silv’s… having the time of his life.

Can we just take a moment on this picture.

-The scarf

– The necklace

– The sweat

-The tight pink shirt

-The goatee/ mustache thingy. (Does he take time every morning to sculpt that?)

– He is probably yelling “Ma friiiiiends, I am so Aaappppy!!!”

I can only take him in small doses… like 10 minutes a week.

And this is why I go to Shanghai/ run races every weekend. I am not a fan of the circus… but I still love you Britney.

 

 

 

My New Running Club

I really, really wish someone would come visit so they could go running with me. Every time I am either screaming (in my head) because I am about to get hit by a car or laughing (to myself)  because it’s just so ridiculous.

Saturday was a case of the hilarious-ness. I met with a new running club near Century Park (home of my ‘longest’ run of the year). Turns out this is where all the cool kids run because I saw Andrea’s running twin!

I met this running group a couple weekends ago at the Shanghai Nike 10k and liked them because they do longer runs together on weekends.

I arrive. Only foreigner but luckily a lot of the runners speak English fairly well.

We begin to stretch. This was when I start to laugh, cry, be embarrassed.

#1- I am not a stretcher. I used to try and stretch after long runs at Running Room but pretty much just stood there with one knee bent, talking. Sometimes I will do a little dynamic stretching if I am racing and want to look like I know what I am doing. (Leg swings are HC.)

#2. I am not flexible. Like at all. I have never, ever been flexible. I always lost points in gym class for not being able to touch the wooden block. (Stupidest test ever.) Yesterday my male co-worker could do the splits way better than me. (Weird for him too.) Chinese people, I have noticed are generally really flexible. Must be there super fast metabolisms.

#3- I was wearing short shorts. For starters, I am taller than everyone and now I can’t get as low as them! Who knows what views I was dishing out. Nice first impression.

#4. I wouldn’t even call this stretching. It was more like fitness, boot camp. We were jumping, doing squats, running on the spot. My legs were so tired… and this was all before the run! Who are these people?!

#5. And then came the photographer. No idea why on a Saturday long run they hired a photographer, but they did. So we have to do the warm-up all over again so he can take pictures!! I am too weak for this.

#6. Now it’s time to pose. We line up holding hands and running on the spot. I need to find a picture of this. Imagine: Me in the middle of a line of Chinese runners, holding hands,big smiles, running on the spot, waving our hands in the air. We are the world.  How do I get myself into these situations?

runclubIf you can’t pick me out, I’m the one looking confused.

#7. Finally, the run begins. We all run single file?  The long run turns out to be a 5km loop around the outer area of the park. At first, I thought it was pretty boring but it grew on me. I had only planned on running 20km because I am running a half this weekend but when you are only thinking in 5km increments it’s really easy to just do ‘1 more.’ Kind of like going around a giant track except you have to dodge scooters. I ended up running 30km in 5:10 which is a decent pace for me on a LR. However, the route was totally flat and I ate 5-6 slices of pizza the night before so I think the carbo loading helped. (Whenever I go to Shanghai I tend to go a little crazy on the food, my city doesn’t have any Western restaurants!)

#8. I think there is something wrong with the way I run, because I had some majah chafing issues.

#9. Even though we didn’t technically run together, it was nice to have the structure of a team work-out. They thought I was crazy for coming from a different city but I would definitely do it again. Except I will arrive late so I can miss the stretching.

#10. I’ll leave you with the only other photo I could find from our photo shoot. This is our leader…

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…because whenever I think of running I think of people putting on and taking off their shirts.